pink to black

2006-06-11T13:09:00.000+08:00

its been so long since ive blogged...and its good tt now no one reads my blog so i can just type wateva i want to..but..its kidda contadicting..coz deep down..i want those three to read..read wat they made me go through..read wat they are doing to me..

just feel its suh a failure..such a failure as a person...

did i realli do anything wrong tt make me deserving of all these?????

life sucks..life just sucks!!!

2006-01-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

oh well...yesterday i was realli at bukit batok area the whole of ydae...yupp meet qin yi and bryan at westmall to buy our bbq stuffs at shop n save...hai...thinking of the last time i watched a movie there...oh btw shop n save was filled with ppl...while i was doing my grocery buying..i felt a lil sad...how i wish i wld be able to buy groceries lyk that with my dearie next time..ya then we cab to hillview regency with ming long..
Even though all the while i was at hillview regency...my heart wasn't realli there...i'm dreaming...and finished like three bottles of beer..yuppz...of coz i wasn't drunk...but i wanna make myself drunk!!!!!!!!!!!! so that i wld be numb numb numb!!!!! why aint i even a single chance???

2006-01-27T14:09:00.000+08:00

there's no way that i'm gonna be happy animore...at least for 1 month..no wait one year..actually i think for the rest of my life...unless my guardian angel comes back to me.. Am i like this nobody child that no one wants?? am i juz so screwed...that my whole life's filled with nothing but aobstacles???? i dunno....but at least..dun be tt mean to me....give me just one thing!

2006-01-26T18:43:00.000+08:00

i dunno what's with me...seriously...life's been realli realli realli terrible..i mean i noe there's loads of ppl arnd we cares for me..but all i need is one...is that realli selfish and mean to those ppl who care for me for different reasons.. sometimes i think..why am i treated so unfairly...i realli want to that all these as a test...but will it ever end...i wld gladly love to go through all these if its only a phase i have to go through to make it to the end...but if im juz gonna go on with this kidda sick life..for so long...then what's the point..??? why can't i juz end my life??? i went to read some articles on depression and suicidal...some of them are serious bullshit..sometimess..you still have to solve the problem from the root cause of it..can i?? sometimes i hope that can just turn back time.. then ill do anything i can.. but now...is death the only path??

2006-01-26T12:06:00.000+08:00

i declare that cindy khoo is going crazy...yes i am...i dno...probably kidda of a depression..aneroxic?? i dunno..but ive done crazy things even i myself can't imagine.. That day i was just standing at the middle of the road looking at the car coming towards me..hoping someone would come pull me away..wat was i trying to do?? i dunno...but this urge have been going on.. and the no. of times ive cried is lyk uncountable..the tears could fill a swimming pool.. and ive never imagine this but yes..ive lost 3kg since fri/sat..yupp..sucks..ive no aim in my life animore...i jus need someone

2006-01-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

probably..it was partially my fault..i'm sorry...i dun need time..i need u

2006-01-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

the last few days have been like hell...and school definitely sucks coz im not lsitening to anything...juz stoning...a little tear or two sometimes...thinking..
and i havent been able to get the appetite to eat anything..even the best food taste bitter in my mouth..yupp...ate minimal or nothing these few days..and found out i lost lyk 1.5 kg in 3 to 4 days..but if i have a chioce i wld rather not go through all these
seriously..i believe shrek still loves princess fiona..there must be some complications that's causing all those..i dunno..i mean..that's the best anione can think of..there are suppose to have little shreks you noe..

2006-01-21T17:07:00.000+08:00

ate only 1/4 of breakfast, din eat lunch..and i feel lyk puking now..does that me i'm degrading myself now..why am i torturing myself??

2006-01-21T17:06:00.000+08:00

i hate being cheated!!!

2006-01-20T19:13:00.000+08:00

seriously..i feel lyk killing someone now! i wanna die! or kill someone...i wanna see blood! i'm getting sadist..i wanna turn to suicide...i wanna die! comeon i'm a educated girl...i noe tt's all wrong...but i'm so hot not! i mean i feel hot from inside out...i feel lyk i wanna do something to destroy myself...i wanna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-07T19:31:00.000+08:00

hmmm...i din noe that my blogs actually read by other ppl..its been so deserted...i shall not write that much secrets alrdy!! oh welll...life still sucks

2006-01-05T20:53:00.000+08:00

Everything means nothing..if i aint got you.

2005-12-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

tmr's new year's eve...
everyone's going for countdwn n stuffs..
but ive no mood...
no mood to do anything on this kidda happy occassion..
without someone i love beside me...

2005-12-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna write a song about the relationship...
its gonna be something sad..
that everyone who heard it will cry..
definitely..

2005-12-25T18:07:00.000+08:00

today's christmas day...suppose to be fun filled...with love...but mine..its realli terrible..i'm like wasting everything in my life now..i noe i gotta buck up when sch reopens and realli work har din my studies..i realli have to..its my As and ive gotta study ahrd...very very hard...but ive lost someone who will be there to support me...will he be back before the 2nd of january?????

2005-12-25T12:27:00.000+08:00

feel lyk going to esplanade...get like 6 cans of beer...juz drink..drink..and drink

2005-12-25T12:17:00.000+08:00

sometimes...i wonder how people go missing..like you watch tv, read the papers..there will always be news about eople mising and not found again..i mean...why is this happening..dun those missing people feel that at least they shld let those people back home know wat's happening..sometimes its realli bad to not know what happen and keep having wandering thoughts..like is the person dead...*TOUCH WOOD* but still...can someone like just dun contact another person for soo long?? esp when its someone very very close...its weird..there shld be a worldwide GPRS people search..i wanna invent something like a chip..and put inside everybody..so that when i lost someone dear to me i can find the person back..like losing family members...ur bf? or losing ur hubby? missing is the worse thing to happen...like u neva neva noe when the person will be back..hahaha....does it sound funny...no its not funny!!coz there's so much emotional trauma on the person that's going through everything...realli! so if anyone out there who's playing missing in action..pls go contact someone..let them noe that ure safe..its not a fun game!

2005-12-25T11:55:00.000+08:00

have i been a bad girl this year..
then why santa aint giving me what i want for christmas this year...

2005-12-22T14:42:00.000+08:00

baby i won't forget.. no matter how much time i have..i won't forget..
you..

2005-12-18T19:01:00.000+08:00

ok haven't been blogging for so o so long..i mean i kidda deserted my blog oz i wasnt reali using it..but kidda wanna stay ome stuffs now..so can only do it here...wanna tell a story..

the girl was realli bubbly, and cheerful, always dreamt of her prince charming, a typical teen. She's one, that needs protection, love and secority, but until she was 16, no such person appeared in her life. Until one day, she met LO, a guy that brought much joy and sadness to her life. They knew each other and not long after, they were an item, but no one knew. It was smth between just the both of them. Therfore, their meetings were very discreet. They hangout in corridors of the club, the guy sent her and picked her up from sch and went for movies after some school days as well. they spent a wonderful time together, enjoyed each others ompany. the girl was stubborn and insisted her way sometimes, but the guy always gave in to her, he loved her too much. He even came to her house to see her from afar, they were happy.bad times came when the guy had to go into the army, he was not able to spend as much time with her. On top of that, the guy's family had some omplicating matter that happened. Being the only guy in the family, he needed to be there for them. Slowly, the girl felt very neglected and not loved. She was sweet to the guy still, coming up with surprises for him on his birthday. the girl knew that he did not want it, and comprimised with him even though sometimes she would still be angry over the little amount of time he could give her. She was totally dissapointed when he could not even spend her birthday with her, and not even something small for her birthday. She wasn't wanting something big, but juz anything that would be memorable over the years.She was really upset. Days became worse and sometimes they woul not even get to see each other for weeks. Their last meeting was on this day that they had actually planned to go for a picni by the beach. Howeer, the guy made the girl wait at their meeting place for 2 hours, she was really upset, knew he did not meant it and spent the day rather happily. She was of course angry, really wonder if he actually cared. if he loved her that much, would he let her suffer??? they exchanged some messages after that and one day, the guy just stopped messaging the girl. She tried calling him, messaging him but there was no response and a month passed. She is still waiting for him. She's really worried if anything happened to him. Or, he doesn't want her anymore. it has been painful for the girl, speding all her nights crying, and then faling sick because of that. She hugged the pig that he gave to her, cried, and actually attempted cutting herself, which is something she wouldn't do for life. No matter what, she hopes to see him again..shes got his christmas present and annivesary present that she wished to pass to him..and she wants to tell him something he always wanted to hear from her..

2005-08-19T14:52:00.000+08:00

haha..wondering why i'm blogging now when i'm suppose to be in school now...specifically maths tutorial now??? yupp..u will noe when u see my big bummed head!

alright...what actually happened???

we were waiting for mrs loh outside the pw computer lab la...so was walking arnd..talking to ppl...then philip and david were lyk playing rugby along the corridor..haha...oh well..then the drop the rugby ball near me la...so i went to picked it up..then when i stood up..trying to run away from david...when i stood up i knocked onto the big big metal pipe tap i think...not sure wat but something very hard and kidda sharp somewhere...it was super painful and i tot i wld be some super huge bump or smth...then i was leaning onto sisi..then suddenly someone shouted "bleeding!" oops...and i felt my hand was lyk realli damp...i look...omg blood..used left hand ..touch..omg...even more blood...then i start to feel blood trickling down the side of my forehead..omg..then i dunno wat happened...there was some kind of commotion..the next thing i knew was minglong, ben and david were following me to the sick bay...i juz followed them la..and when i walked through the void deck...everyone was looking at me...at my bloody head and hands...omg!!

so went to the sick bay everyone was so flustered..haha...so minglong clear my wound for me...thanks lots man!! haha..then they were saying maybe have to cut away my hair...argh!!! oh well...called my parents to come pick me home..then when i went to the mrc room to get my books...all the teachers that saw me were lyk asking so much about wat happened..hahaha...had to explain once twice...oevr and ovr again so many many times...haha...then at last my parents came...went to the doctor..

was quite scred that the doctor will wanna stitch up the wound for me...she wanted to..was lyk saying i will do better with a small stitch..i was lyk nooooooooo!! haha...so in the end juz got some nice bandage..and a tetanus jab that hurts a little so my left hand is lyk numb!! oh well...i'm sad...can't go out...no trng for me...haiz...im a sad gal....bloody gal..haha!

2005-08-14T18:32:00.000+08:00

am i greedy if i ask for something in return after putting in so much effort?? is that called greedy?? i realli have no idea..i thought when two people went through quite a bit together..u dun have to say out certain stuffs as it seems to be in our heart..we noe it deep down inside..but now..it doesn't seem to be this way..was it self-proclaimed all the way..is it lyk tt?? why didn't u tell me earlier..i wldn't have put in so much effort if i noe the ohters mean more to you...nonono...i will stioll put it the effort...coz i noe how to cherish..but do you?

btw, to law: happy birthday!!..even though u sprained ur ankle..i hope u like the cap..=D

1sb3 chalet

2005-08-10T14:54:00.000+08:00

just came back from 1sb3 chalet..hmm...can say itz rather fun la...meet everyone at 2pm ydae at pasir ris mrt..then i went there first coz my dad was sending me..grrr...idiot ming long told me the wrong place..grr..but luckily have car...if not ill have to walk until crazy..sighz..
we were suppose to go cycling..swimming...play around..but the weather was so irritating so everyone was so lazy and decided to stay in..the guys were all playing with their ps2 and xbox...omg..terrible!! argh..and i played risk...the others were playing uno and stuffs..haha..so it went on until 5 plus when we started our bbq..we had tooooo much food...and i bought lyk 50 bucks worth of alcholic drinks..haha...it was fun passing it around manz..haha...glenn was lyk red! and iyan..was allergic so he was realli "HOT" literally..lyk lotsa rashes over la..poor thing..hahaha..smth lyk hangover la..yupp..so the guys continued to play com..then we went pooling!!! haha...after pooling back to room..and..whoah!!!! asshole dai dee is so damn fun!! hahahah =D played all the way until lyk one plus...and i was KING all the way! yeahs!!!!! oh well...until i was over throne to queen at last..i went to get supper for the rest who are staying la..so me and elson went for a food hunt! and guess wat...whole of downtown east is lyk a ghost town..no one already...so walked out...no coffee shops that is within our area..then we saw this grp of ppl walking so buoght of us decided to follow them..kidding and camouflsing behind blocks and cars..haha...cheap thrill!!haha..so we bough so much stuffs back..haha...and itz a super super long way back..my legs were breaking already!! grr....so walk walk walk...it was so dark and scary la...and there's only the two of us! idiot elson was trying to scare me..grr! was so tired when we got back!!! haha...and we sleep alyk arnd 4 la...the guys were realli noisy and we chased them out! hahahaha...woke up...ha dto leve already..pack up and took cap home with elsona n jz...tired!

2005-08-08T23:31:00.000+08:00

just because of what you said...AC girls are gonna win RJ and SA for bowling next year...again!

vincent's bdae + national day

2005-08-08T18:51:00.000+08:00

yesterday was vincent's BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday UNCLE!! hahaha...hmm...it was really fun..esp when so many were there..yupp..meet everyone at heeren foundation so there was hoyun, gwen, raelene, me, vincent, nick, kevin, darryl, uncle paul, glenn, victoria(came later)...did i miss out anione?? hmm..oh well...we had lunch at cafe cartel! yummie..and..ate vincent's bdae cake there! i bought one! haha...chocolate addiction from NYDC! delicious! yuppz..and wat next..we went to watch charlie and the chocolate factory at ceine..and halfway through i realise i lost my came..ran down to cafe cartel..phew! its still there...then i went back to continue my movie...omg!!!!! itz a damn good movie! sooooooo cute! i wanna watch again! again again!!! hahaha...after movie...omg..the guys took so damn long to decide wat to do...where to go..so pissing la...in the end..took almost an hour i think...then the others went to darryl's house..then gwen went wif her parents, me,victoria, nick and rae went to eat..haha..they having dinner..but i juz drank...walked around and shopped a bit...not bad...bought smth....yuppzz! in the end trained down to dad's place to take his car home..coz so late already..bleah..and..........

today's national day celebration in school...was in school lyk 6 to prepare la!! grr...hai..i still prefer last year's national..it was better...and i went out for movie last year...but this year..sigh..no one went back sc except for me and the ncc because of their ROD( hey yenling..i got it right this time...not ORD!) ...yupp...quite sad...but visited a few teachers...esp mr hong! nice teacher! even though we had such a tiff last time but..yuppz...collected the magazine and Olevel cert...atlast...hmm...home...slept since afternoon until now...dunno why i'm juz so down and sleepy...but there's class chalet..hope tt will cheer me up a bit! =D

2005-07-29T18:39:00.000+08:00

hehe...found out there's another couple in the bowling team already!! so happy for themmm..soon all the gals in the team will be taken...wait..except for me..haha! =( oh well...life is realli realli stressful...i'm gonna see shane teo tmr and guess wat...i haven even started practising the second piece..and my first piece is lyk..shit!! grrrrr....super super sad...another thing..my bowling's detoriating! since i haven't been bowling..uncle kenneth was lyk.."nva bowl at all during the break ar?" i was lyk nodding guiltily...sighz..i must improve..coz we gals are the defending champs for nxt yr's comp..we can't lose to any of them! and i wanna be in at lest team 2! haiz...test are all coming up again..i hope ill do them well...juz need to mug more for econs since i haven been listening during lecture..grrrr..mr mushrrom juz makes me sleep...esp when i'm sitting right in front of him!

2005-07-26T15:53:00.000+08:00

i'm blogging frm sch now in the mrc room...surprised??? oh well...have no lessons at all for me coz there's physics SPA this morning..but i had to stay in sch for music analysis lessons and trng in the evening..so her i am..slacking coz i dun feel lyk doing any work..seriously! haiz..the othersa re at simlim now buying things we need..can't go coz i was held up at music..sighz..trying to practise my pieces for shane teo but itz realli hard..i nva practise song to be heard in lyk 2 weeks..the whole thing..i always take lyk 1 month plus to master the notes...sigh..but i hope to do it properly for him to see...i must do well for promos practical..if not ms leong will nagggggg again!!!! sighz....COLLEGE bowl tmr!! HAHA..hope ill bowl well after so damn long! sighsigh...i'm always sighing.....sighz

2005-07-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

i dno why my eyes are welling up..and feeling moist..for this idiot?????
remember!! juz a gd friend! Remember!

2005-07-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

seems lyk the super long previous copy i wrote is gone..ive no idea why but basically..it doesn't realli matter since no one would actually realise it at all..itz realli been tough coping with things nowadays..coming back so late from school almost everyday..haiz..sometimes realli need to lyk pour out all these sorrows to someone.but i guess..everyone has their own probs and no one would give a damn abt sparing me some time..oh well..terms were bad for me..even though it wasn't relatively that bad but i expected more..so i shall work even harder! to get even better grades! yupp..i must..and i need to catch up on fun too..haven't realli enjoyed since after terms..my initial d has ended..but luckily i managed to rush down to town to get my harry potter and finish it in 5 hours..wonder if i broke any record but oh well..irealli enjoyed it even though dumbeldore died! haiz..gotta go do somework..oh and shane teo's making me learn two new pieces in two weeks..and one weeks going to end soon...i'm sooooo dead

2005-07-02T16:59:00.000+08:00

hmm..haven't been blogging for so so long!! but i bet no one actually realise la..yuppz...coz i'm having my term exams..actually..i still hve 3 more music papers to go while the other ppl finish their exam already..i'm super irritated..but wat to do..haiz..and worst thing is i haven't practise my practical pieces yet..15 mins recital..wonder how i'm gonna do that..will juz pick some old songs and play..sighz...and di tzi..playing two pieces..hope i can do it on that day coz i'm realli not very confident!! so scary! haiz..so i'm mugging for the esay now..tt's the only muggable element for music..and itz actually NOT good..haiz..i realli need to go out..this weekend..must have fun!

=(

2005-06-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

okaes! i'm super duper sad now coz i just lost all my taggs!! there's some stupid person who spammed sooo much and grrr...tagboard deleted everything..all my other tags...so everything's gone.. I WANT MY NICE TAGGS BACK!!!!!

2005-06-18T15:57:00.000+08:00

i dunno why but i juz can't concentrate in studying! argh..everytme i sit down and wanan start serious studying..something just gets into my head and ill start thinking..and ill spend lyk the nxt hour plus staring into mid air juz mearly thinking..and it makes me sad..stressed..and so unhappy..grrr..it's so annoying..wat to do??

2005-06-18T15:25:00.000+08:00

ydae was a rather alright day which turned out to be...bad!
ohw ell..studied abit in the morning..then went shopping with mum and dad in the afternoon..bought a black top! haha..tt's all..sad..so i met up with cheryl arnd 5 plus at tangs..then went to get earings for her sis..yupp..was suppose to meet minglong and the rest at 6..haha..but we decided to go.late! haha..poor minglong called when we were on the way to ps to meet him..he's all alone..so..oh well..went to ps arcade..finding him watching chance dancing DDR! haha..alright so the three of us went swensens for dinner..then abhi came eventually!..yupp..and guess wat..roy's coming..and he's driving..OMG! alright..i decided to be nice to him today..shan't be mean..but wat's HIS problem! stated throwing tantrums..grr...and i think it was a diaster taing his car to ACSI!! i feel safer in a roller coaster than in his car! he was lyk speeding and changing lanes so every often..ly hello!! i wanna live..i dun wanna die in a car crash! esp when ROY GAN is the driver..i meanhe dun have to speed until lyk that right?? and when we reach ACSI..we were still late by half an hour..coz why?? MR GAN kept taking wrong routes..wat's wif him?? oh well..me and cheryl felt lyk puking when we eventually got off the car..cheryl's hands were so damn cold la...hai..so went to get tickets coz i forgotten to bring mine! wasted 20 bucks! grrr..it was OKAY la..but the gals dresses were ugly..lyk deng ge tai lyk tt! david danced rather well..ahha..looked gd in the soldier thing thou..haha! hmm..ming long was rather nice to send me and cheryl back..yupp..took mrt with us to cck..then we went to eat at kfc..whipped poptato! haha..and my parents decided to come pick me at lot 1..so ming long waled us outside..and i sent cheryl home as well la..haha..tt's abt it..

about today..i'm not very productive until now..was suppose to do a lot but i feel realli tired..and i end up reading my jefrey archer book..i shall go get some music and physics stuffs done..sighz!

2005-06-16T16:17:00.000+08:00

have been trying to study! yupp..and i did..at least i know wat's dynamics and stuffs already!! haha..went shopping ydae thou..uhmm..not very productive..but i bought shoes and earings..and a book!! my fav jeffrey archer! haha..i read til quite late last night thou..love it! oh well...there's sc bowling gathering late..at dil's place..dno if i shld go..rae's not going..and i guess i'll stay at home and continue studying my physics!! yeahs! so tmr i can go shopping with mummy! buy more more stuffs!!
mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!
but wat i realli wanna do is still watching movies! pls someone..watch movie with me!!
i still have ICE PRINCESS... DOWN FALL... and Mr and Mrs Smith!! nobody wanna watch with me!

2005-06-13T20:57:00.000+08:00

loads have been happening..but itz though for me to go through everything one by one la..so yupp..oh yea.. MEP concert is coming up..its on 24 july 5pm at recital studio esplanade..tickets going at 25 bucks..who wants to come..haiz..ive ten tickets and i havent sold a single one yet..sighz..can use edusave! oh well...but i'm not performing la..sighz..only a few j1s performing..hmm..u wanna peform in some kidda item lyk the pianist in maksim's music! i wanna play my fav claudine..realli hope to do that one day..nicely arranged! haiz..quite slack now..coz i'm not in the mood of mugging even though i have to...haiz..

2005-06-08T22:09:00.000+08:00

so proud of myself! i finished trigo tys! yeahs! haha...finally i got the hang of trigo! haha..handle the whole chapter by myself manz!! hahaha!! =D and i finally did my composing..got inspiration today! yuppz!! but haven finsh yet..need more ideas to flow into my head!! haha!! feel free to fill my with more! currently..i'm rather bored...i wanna talk after being at home all alone the whole day...by myself..yupp!!! arghh!

south zones

2005-06-07T12:16:00.000+08:00

went to watch south zones after sch in the morning..yupp..rae was bowling for scgs..hang arnd with yewliang and javier..watching rae bowl la..haha!! she din bowl well..but nvm! hmm..yewliang bowl at lane 8 and eddy was bowling at lane 9..so great..we can sit there and watch! haha..and i productively did some GP hmwk while watching..so guai right?? haha..hmm.but eddy in bowl well la..lost to SA by 3pins..Dammit! how can SA get first again! grrr..but nvm..itz no ones fault..we juz gotta buck up and win them nxt year! yes! eddy was super sad la..very not like himself..very scary...so i was kidda worried! haha..was even more depressed than nats! oh well..sometimes we juz gotta learn it the super hard way..haiz..oh well...cab back with javier and rae..got home at 5..tired!! did some work..watch tv! talk on phone..blah..
was suppose to wake up ealry today to study but i couldn't..coz i don't have THAT alarm clock! haha..oh well...guess i shall try dedicating the rest of the day to hmwk as well...sighz

past few days

2005-06-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

the past week had been not constructive in terms of studying and resting..but more so in having fun!! yupp...had mr camp frm wed to fri..shall go into the details..haha
Wednesday
went to sch..had some craqsh course training..but i went for physics make up lessons halfway..so when i came back..everyone was playing lann already..then i tried..quite fun..star craft..haha!! the guys taught me how la..so i juz played along..haha..had chicken rice for lunch..then we started watching spongebob square pants movie..then me, stella, andre and weiyang.went to buy dinner for everyone..and stella help use by alchol..coz we gna drink at night..juz 4 of us..haha..got back and everyone ate..then we watched team america..gosh..gross show!!! arghhhhhhh...shld be cesored man!! haha..so when all the guys returned to their lan games..four of us sneaked out to oldham hall to drink..had one breezer each..very light drink..then we lie on the track and see stars!!!!! hahah...sooooo nice..got back arnd 11..continued playing lann until et chased the three gals to the staff room to sleep..bleah!!!!!!! it was a great place but sleep so early when the guys are still playing..so irritating!!!
Thursday
i woke up arnd 6.30..went for a walk.ad then got back to the main room where te guys are sleeping..haha...to bother them..on the lights and wake them up..hahah..slack slack already then me, wei yang and andre went dover market to buy nasi lemak breakfast for everyone..climbed the back gates both times coz we have to walk one whole big big round if we go by the front!! haha..not very glam but nvm la...camp wat!! haha..then i had to take my 2 hr written test and 3hr practical test!!badbad for me..bought lunch with the same ppl again..got drink as well..this time we got ourselves long island..yeah..and i played star craft until dinner time..had hokkein mee..continue with virtual cop after dinner..haha..distracted everyone to play the games..the four of us went to drink again..haha..went to the bball court this time..haha...sat on the bench and i guess we scared a lot of ppl walking pass ..haha..oh well..wei yang became super high..and stella slightly..wei yang was super usper funny..then we lie down on the track to see stars again..but stella and weiyang kept going back to the room then coming back..so me and andre ended up seeing stars by our own..it was so nice..we tlked alot alot..and listened to my mp3..was sharing all my nice sweet songs with him..haha..i think we spend lyk almost two hous there..haha.until jiaming and et came to chase us back to the room..continued with starcraft unitl 1.30..et came to chase..AGAIN!! haiz..went to sleep lor!!
Friday
woke up headed for main room..everyone was slping except andre..so we juz sat there in the dark..and listened to my mp3 again...all the guys were super tired coz they played lann until super late..so he went back to sleep while i went out for a walk..then came back after a while to play star craft!! and star craft again..ate..play ate play ate play!! haha..played brifge, heart attack and bluff for lyk dunno how many hours la..relaxed a lot alot!! and yupp..had a rather good and productive debrief before we broke camp and went for lunch cum dinner at swensens..had so so so much crap..laughed so much until my whole body ache..suanned genius so so much until he also can't stand me!! haha..fun!! parents picked me up at arnd 530..they got my luggage ealier at 12 already..now we're heading to this teochew restaurant for dinner wif sis, bro in law, gracia jia and gilbert kor..yuppz..ate until damn full..had a walk arnd robertson quay..nice!!
Saturday
went NAG masterz with august rae and yewliang..me, august and yeliang suppose to meet at cck at 12!! but yewliang was late..so me and august decided to go meet rae first since she's like alone at yishun waiting for us!! haha..talked quite a bit on the train..oh well..meet rae..waited for yewliang at yoshi..then headed for OCC in cab..dammit!! missed annuar's perfect game..hai!! how can he get it!! grrrr!! haiz..watched until damn tired la..so many ppl were there..then stbc laughing their new logo..changing to sbf..eeee..the new logo not as nice la..juz one stupid pin..haha..so we left arnd 5..me rae and august..rae gave me a ligt to newton..then i took a train to town and meet gracia jie..was suppose to get a crumpler bag for myself but she insisted in paying..grrr..oh well..i love my crumpler bag!! haha...went for dinner..then followed her to her place to wait for my dad to pick me up..long long day!!

RHD

2005-05-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

had RHD stress test at PJ early in the morning today..it was super duper tiring..haha.coz the sun was so so hot..o basically shuan and i were slaking throughout la..hahaha.juz keep talking until we kidda brought the ppl we were leading to wrong places..haha..oops..oh well..had a little bit of fun..ended arnd 12..so shuan, me, claire and yiling went pizzahut at lot 1 for pizza!!! haha..later ying came to join us..haha...then shuan and ying came to my place to watch freaky friday!! haha..funny and nice show though..hmm..i'm alone at home now again..mum went out with sis..i can't go coz i've ditzi lesson later..

2005-05-30T18:48:00.000+08:00

ydae was a super super long day..since gracia ji came back frm aust, she stayed at my hse on sat night coz she haven't got the rm frm her comapny yet..yuppz..so the whole of sunday was spent with her..went IT shopping with her..bought a XLR camera and laptop..yuppz..so both of us had dinner with sis, mum and dad at my dad's fren's new restaurant at lau pa sat..after dinner me and my sis stayed over at her room at conrad hotel..slept at 12 i think
woke up arnd 630..coz i gotta go to sch! argh..left the hotel at 715 and i was like th only soul on the road..who the hell will cme to this area so so early in the morning! tt's realli lonely walking to cityhall mrt station myself..but got to sch eventually..and the rest of the day..totally shagged with the 3hr econs lecture..and OHP cleaning up!! wanna die..i'm so tired..wanna sleep!!
bleah..there's NAG ongoing now..wish all those who are playing good luck!!

2005-05-28T14:19:00.000+08:00

have been loading pictures onto shutterfly the whole morning..and at last!!! i'm done!! yeahs..so i've got all the 1sb3 and bowling pics up..yeahs! haha..so pls go view them although i haven add captions to them..too many pics already! oh well..eddy spraind his ankle so he can't go to bintan.poor thing..but nvm..i can cheer him up in a while coz i juz got the hang of tong hua already..so i juz need to practise a bit more and i can play already!! yeahs!! alright..gotta go get some work done so i can attend thos emakeup lessons on monday...happy studying to myself!

2005-05-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

hhmmm....principal decided to give us half day today..coz we got so so so many championship titles!! haha...rugby won ydae man..haha..yea..so went for movie with my classmates..quite nice..but too short!! argh..i wanna blog more but tooo lazy.shall blog tmr or smth..and theres no one online to talk to now..so tmr tmr

rugby finals

2005-05-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

hated sch today..it was super bad..dreaded everything..luckily it ended sch at 2.30 today..coz there's gonna be rugby finals..yupp..did some videoing so i was standing at the front the whole time..cool man..it was fun eatching even thou i dun realli understand the game but oh well...ac won..23 nil..quite sad for rj la..but we won..yeahs..it ended lyk 6.30..then me, mel and adriel waited for cab until 7 plus then can't stand already..so called for one..then three of us cab home..plus adriel's fren who came on last minute..yuppz..aniwaes..reach home arnd eight..bathe..and eddy called..so talk..hmm..he gave me a week end task..haha...to master tong hua by guang liang on piano..so tt i can play for him after he comes back from bintan..poor him have to rush for NAG immediately after he reach singapore..shld be alright la..easy chords i think..hmm..yup tt's the song ur hearing on my blog now..haha..yupp..i got so many things to rush for tmr! i'm so dead..i'll juz do gp compre

day off: SENTOSA!!!!

2005-05-24T18:50:00.000+08:00

just came back frm sentosa!!! haha...coz we won adiv com..our principal decided to give us a day off!! haha..she told us when we were taking photos at the bleaches today..but u noe..u knew it lyk even before the competition started!! haha..so we got ready the blue slips already..yeahs!! i wanna complain!!!! the trohpies are all so so so lousy..a lot of them got chipped and some brought..tt's realli sad alrightz..we shall try to take care of them more carefully!! they are so impt..so yea..realise they haven't engrave acjc's name on the throphies yet..haha...2003 and 2004 stated raffles junior college. haha..so we set off for sentosa..din noe if we shld take bus or train..slack arnd a bit and yea..went with the train...a ok trip there..reached harbour front and had macs breakfast! after that we got some tidbits and water then went to take the shutte bus in!! i bought yan yan and pocky!! my favourites..shall tell u where they end up in the end! we wanted to take cab;e car but it was erhmm 11.90..so took shuttle bus instead..blahblahblah...walkwalkwalk...then we were at the beach..took quite long to get cahgned and settle down..then we couldn't find the guys..nvm..we shall juz sit arnd! wear shades, wear cap, sun block..then me and kexian decided to go chek out wat the guys are doing. haha..soccer again..so walked over and say hi! suddenly all the guys started running towards me..dunno where kexian went but i was screaming lyk hell already..they took of my shades and cap then started carrying me..i struggled so muh until they let me down..haha..the guys saw the other girls running away..then wanted to chase them but too late..so they came back to me..drag drag..then carry me!! dammit!! i was on the verge of crying..no one to help me..all the gals went on hiding..so i got dunked in..first gal to be in!! oh well..so later i found out all of them went cycling..nvm..i shall juz hang arnd with debby, suping and meaghan..tanning!!! haha..walked arnd with the guys and they were so mean..went to hijack lynette, jasmine, cherie and fiona's kayak!! bad bad ppl! haha..it was quite fun watching too! and this time when they started dunking gals when everyone came back, they din dunk me again although they tried again! haha..failed! oh well..so everyone was playing blah blah..i wanted to go to the bridge so badly! but no one wanna go..went myself lor! it was realli realli nice..think about loads of stuffs when i was on the bridge..one day..i realli wanna be there wif the person i love...so romantic on the bridge..haha!! i want to bring everyone i noe there.best place ever..went back..still dunkning ppl..tried me again.failed! haha..so i brought mel to the bridge..sat there listening to mp3..we talked quite a lot..and we agree tt itz a very romantic place..haha!! too bad wrong person to be with..haha kidding!! we took the orange rum frm the guys! haha! i finishe it! yeahs..me and mel..went to the bar to ask the guy there open for us..then so happy!! can drink! and i drank more..sorry mel!! hmm..when we went back!! dammit!! the guys finished the ruffles meant for the gals to share..and worst of all..they finished my yan yan and pocky! i wanna kill them okays! was so so sad! hmmm...so now some went to bathe..the guys went to cycle..some roller blade..then i wanna learn blading so kexian, beverly and melissa taught me..but sadly..i'll still say i can't skate! nvm.try again nxt time! we were suppose to go sakae or buffet but me, lynette cherie and fiona were the last few to leave with the guys..so after bathing..quite late..so took a bus back to harbour front for subway! i like ganyang's cap! haha..we exchanged it..haha..took a pic and it looked rather gd..yuppz! met some gals on the way so they followed us to subway..had food..very tired.so me, mel and lyn decided to cab back..haha..me and mel took one jim bean each frm the guys..again..but it din taste good.cola whisky..so i finished half and threw the others away when i reached home..oh well..realli dead beat!
report: 1.tann on my feet..the slippers tann 2. tann on neck...bikini line tann 3. tann on leg..short shorts tann 4. tann on hands...short sleeves

oh yah..smth about ydae's team dinner..it was quite fun..got our captains chosen..yea..then went clarke quay after tt

masterz final

2005-05-20T22:32:00.000+08:00

yupyup..had masterz final today..amde two big bottles of honey for all the acjc ppl..coz they've been shouting so much la..so you noe..let them sooth their throat..oh and i made for eddy too! coz heard his voice ydae quite bad..so betta drink some honey before he can't talk at all! ian loved it so so much! haha =D oh well..i really wanna go into the details of today but i'm realli tired u noe..haha..so..oh well..i'm juz super pissed with annuar..dun deserve to win at all!! win with a 162?? i'm definitely not blaming han wei for his 155 game..haiz..juz tooooo suai..perfect 1 3 pocket but still keep having corner pins..gosh!!!!!!! haiz..and glenda win inez..so she din get into masterz final..sighz..but glenda was bowling so damn well!! she realli realli deserves it..won with a 287..10 strikes in a row..she's so pro!! oh well..ac ppl were rather sad la..so we left quite quickly after tt..going for lunch and star wars!! yeah! saw eDdy at the bus stop alone so went to accompany him! haha..i'm a nice gal..he accompanied me tt time when i was all alone with the rj peeps also..yea..we got teased but heck! haha...he drank the honey and thinks itz gd and soothes his throat! good! haha =D yays! talked quite a bit..pei ta throughout bus trip..to mrt and train until we alighted at cityhall..going marche again! bev, inez, mel kept asking me questions until i'm quite irritated la..then keep saying i'm blushing..lynette yeo also!! oh well..i was looking forward to starwars!! it was not bad l..but the gals thought it was boring..for me itz alright..but it was so damn cold..was shivering ..then lynnete yeo dun wanna hug me!!!! grrrr...i need someone nice and warm to hug me badly! haiz..until she wanna hug me i refused it..haha so fun..after the show went to meet my sis and bro in law..went for some shopping coz they need to get bdae stuffs for wei yang, bro in law's brother!! so juz reached home frm tt..yupyup..no one's online to talk to..i shall go sleep!! niteznitez

2005-05-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

gals title! yes we got the gals title! hahaha!! got so so many trophies today!! haha..as usual we reached there lyk super early..bleahz..but we talked..folled arnd! so much fun togather..and eddy ho returned me the books at last..but too heavy so left in locker..yuppz..took so many photos!! yeah! love photos..bleah! took with tina also..was suppose to eddy but..dno wat happened..oh well..time pas very quickly la..then we're lyk having our briefing soon already. But suddenly after briefing the guys all dissapeared..even oach dissapeared..so i was super nervous when they started their warm up rolls..bleah..then found them all outside talking. Joshua and kenny! stop staying tt or else i'll punch ur head..okay..i realise ive become rather violent ever since..have to protect myself..haha.crappz..so very quickly everyone got ready..and started cheering! 1sb3 came today but their cheering was lousy..only councillors and the other bowlers were cheering..haiz..maybe they started cheering only until the very very end! but they did cheer..tt was today's main fun actually..the game was kidda predictable after first two games..haha..the stupid guys! end up watching martin bowling! grrrr...nva help me record rj team 1 score..so i had so many black spaces in my score sheet..but oh well...we won in the end..gold for gals quartet too!! so so great..and the copying cheers part was fun and kidda out to irritate the rafflesians..oh gosh..esp the one when we started cheering AC boleh..din do it on purpose..realli!! but deanna dropped her ball..yea..so sorry but din expect it! guys still continued their dirty gaying! was lyk shouting at ganyang asking him to stop it la! driving me nuts man! gets on my nerves sometimes..itz funny but pissing too! dno wat to do..oh well..okok shall summarise our bowling results:
haha..bronze guys singles, high game guys singles, bronze gals singles, high game gals singles, gold gals doubles, silver guys doubles, gold gals quartet, gold guys quartet, overall guys silver, overall gals gold
i think i missed out some of the high games onez..blurred..too many..haha..oh well..we have six ppl in masterz tmr! marc, joshua, hanwei, inez, lynette, mel!!
so happy..we were cheering lyk mad! haha...sang school songs..but at the end of the day..we did hip hip hurrays for SA and RJ..i mean we still need to foster friendship and share our passion for bowling..not making more and more enemies right?? haha..so slacked arnd taking more and more photos! haha..took a quik shot with eddy too! but was so paiseh..everyone teasing..bleah!!!!! dun care..heck! haha had de briefing ater tt..so fun! we going for dinner at merchant court hotel on monday night..the teachers treating! and on tuesday..after going to sch for prize presentation..we are going to sentosa..have day off! yeahs! but aniwaes..we went sakae for bufet..ate so much! haha..after tt everyone let already..followed the guys to dota but realise itz not for me..so left and went home. Passed by famous amos cookies..i realli love it..i wanna eat..but thikning of the amount of food i ate..betta not! shall skip dinner as well! =D
tmr's gonna be masterz..i'm gonna go make ***** for everyone! the supporters!! shhh...can't tell now..surprise tmr!

2005-05-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

qurtet guys today!! yeah..we won quartets..shld be a gold..but everyone's sad..coz i think we did not get the sch title..haiz..itz all to the gals tmr..oh well..let's see..went there early today coz took lift frm my daddy..he had to go to work see..so i reach there arnd 10.30..early ritez..so i juz walked arnd watching and calculating the scores..seeing how much we need to do to catch up with sa..haiz..itz tough..but we gotta do it..haha.soon the guys were here la..but as usual..arcade..haiyoh..i'm gonna be pulled to dota by them one of these days man..die!! passed eddy the letter i wrote while talking to him last night..then saw tina so went to talk to her and we crapped so much together!! haha...talked until went late for de brief..but nvm..they haven start..oh well..i have a biggg task today..i need to do live scoring..haha..colect all the scores and tabulate it faster thn the com! yesh..so i changed to specs..so i can see betta!! =D haha..got all my stuffs ready! gave ganyang, ian, bobo and clarence their team letter also..wrote for them only coz too tired last night..haha..made sure they read it before reading!! haha so i recorded scores throughout all the games..running about..spying and asking around! haha..and yeliang, hoyun and the other sji guys came also..manz..kenneth, travis, aloy and eddy so lucky!! nice juniors..haha..oh i got "scolded" by the team for cheering for eddy again..asking me "where my loyalty lies!" haha..oh well..inez asked me to go distract kenneth and eddy ..but i'm nice..i won't do tt..haha =D (or else later get scolded again!)..so end up cheering for eddy secretly upstairs..haha..with the sji peeps.. it was super exciting coz all the scores were realli realli close..SA had uh a big group of supporters..AC too! so we end up having a cheering comp instead..haha..coz we were trying to distract the SA bowlers during their last few frames..cheering non stop..i guess we were realli irritating..yea..but who cares..and..eddy din bowl extremely well today..guess why..he din read the letter i wrote for him..grr..haiz..everyone was so sad when we had debrief after the com..coz no title for guys..oh well..they worked hard..so gonna take train home with mel and lynette..then eddy called la..RJ ppl wanan see the scores..so i went down lor..showed them the list of scores i collected and tabulated..mel and lyn walke to the bus stop in front coz they dun wanna be there with all the RJ ppl..haiz..so lonely..but nvm..eddy here..haha..then heard frm kenneth he and kenny tied at 10..so kenny gna be in the masterz instead..coz have higher games and stuffs..oh well..went on the bus with all the RJ peeps..grrr...EDDY bully me! and the rj guy..alright i noe i'm shout but no need to rub it in right??? haha...but i'm kidda used to it already..so who cares! i wanna step on eddy's orange shoes!! so yuppz..waited for mel and lyn..then we reached city hall..we were strolling out of the mrt thinking if we shld catch tt train..but it went off so too bad..then i had this sudden urge to eat potato salad! haha..so mel went with me to get frm tt cafe and we took 190 home..tmr gna be another long day..hope there wld be victory to AC now!!

18/05/2005
Adiv Quartet
yes! rj won silver for quartet events..but i'm still sad we din get the gold. but nvm, at least we did our best. Actually, i'm blaming myself now, coz i did not bowl extremely well, u noe why? coz i did not read cindy's letter before i bowl. Would have bowled much much better if i read it..or even a perfect game. Yes, and i'm sorry for bully you cindy. But seriously i was just kidding and having fun. Yup, i just hope the rj gals can bowl well tmr and at least get silver overall and a edal for quartet too. Hope we'll have more people getting into master. Pray that they bowl well for RJ. Btw, these are my scores for the past three events, 150 162 190 223 189 235 192 172 150 188 189 203. I'm still happy i got bronze for doubles. Shall work harder next year. RJ all the way.

blogged by: EDDY HO

2005-05-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

today's games were great!!!! yesh! love it terribly!! haha..it was super funny..coz gals weren't suppose to go..so i'm lyk the only one there..other than chyi lyn la..so when i walked into the alley..the whole bunch of guys were already sitting on the lane..realxing..haha..and they saw me..they were lyk cheering!! haha..miss me so much yea? haha..they wanted to tell me to wear the white shirt (coz gals are wearing the grey)..but guess wat..i was smart nough..washed the white shirt overnight so i could wear with the guys today! yesh! and i..was cheering for everyone..shouting my lungs out..the councillors and classes did a not bad job la..but they weren't loud enough!! haha..so i was lyk running around cheering..and recording scores..haha..it was fun thou..yea..coz the guys are doing well..and i shouted for eddy also..gotscolded by mel, meaghan and debby!! say i shout for wrong school..ask me to go over to rj's side..oh well..not my fault right..gotta shout for eddy no matter wat!!! yesh..so the guys finsih..gals have debrief but me an chyi lyn went for lunch with the guys..haha..they say the curry damn hot and gary end up leeting me have his..but guess wat..i think itz not hot at all..juz OK! yeapz..and suppsoedly itz so hot tt you'll get diarrhoe after tt..so marc was telling chris chan he'll treat him to tt..haha..went to arcade for some games before heading back to cheer for the gals..they were great..again! yesh! and cheering was super super fun! all the way!! lazy to give all the details but yuppz..inez and lynnete were 1st for doubles!! yesh! 2nd for guys..AC ALL THE WAY!

adiv 2nd day

2005-05-16T21:28:00.000+08:00

yea..today's second day of the adiv com..and guess wat..we've got a bronze for both guys and gals singles!! yeahs! and for guys..we're currently 2nd overall for guys and 1st overall for gals! isn't tt good news??? yesh! i'm so terribly happy..and cheering today is super super fun..cheered with gan yang, ian, clarence and bobo! it was super fun (shhh..gan yang say they are team sex..and with cindy we are called tem orgy...wth!! shan't say everything they say..if not will faint!) Oh and we went to pizza hut suntec for lunch after tt..had great food..wanted to watch movie but had lotsa complications la..so end up watch nothing..so i went to meet mum and sis in town for shopping!! bough tee shirt and shorts..cheered me up a bit..oh well..tmr gotta go early again..and i'm the only one..sighz =(

2005-05-16T03:11:00.000+08:00

ok..woke up in the morning feeling moody still..continue msging august..at least he's keeping me company..hai..took my ditzi and started blowing liang zhu..juz anihow play by hearing..yuppz..sounded ok but juz trying to differiate my volume of air for high and low notes..sighz..it makes me feel rather down though..oh well..gotta go esplanade later for Kronos..doing videoing..yupp..=(
juz wondering..why's everyone so upset..why are there so many ppl wanting to give up so easily..why???

adiv din make me happy

2005-05-15T07:07:00.000+08:00

yuppz..yesterday was the first day of adiv bowling competition..i was really anticipating for it..lyk couldn't sleep and stuffs..but it din end up to a very happy thing thou..haiz..it started quite fun la..all the guys fooling arnd as usual..haha..had fun..and then..boom!! gary told me last minute ive to do lane marshalling!! argh!! i had anough of tt already..hate to lane marshal!! grrrr...so no choice..have to go..then went to the counter..the person gave out the sheets of paper..pass here and there..then gosh..guess wat..i dunno if i shld say tt i'm lucky..or tt i;m unlucky..got rj team 1...yuppz...edyy will be there..kenneth wil be there..how? dammit..then chyi exchange her's so tt she can marshal eudee's lane..then i stuck with mine..so tt can keep track of rj's scores..hai..oh well..so i'm the kind of SPY?? goodness..alright...started with losta lotsa lotsa lane problems..my mood was already damn ba dalready..and i kept stoning..wasn't concentrating at all..very very distracted..so i had tina sitting with me for a while..hey ive been doing tt for years..no sitting down at the screen coz itz really crowded..but tt guy juz wants me to..so no choice..damn..tt's lyk the last place i wanna be..was so so so stressful thoughout the whole thing..got told of by someone somemore!! i juz dun get it..why do i have to be in this kinda misery..someppl are juz so insensitive, self centered, self absorbed!!!!!!! i'm realli pissed..haiz..but poor eddy din do well for first two games..i din even dare to open my mouth to talk to him la..coz later smoeone will tell me off again..oh well..so i juz kept very very quieted!! shhh...tt's all i tell myself to do..i'm really in a super bad bad mood..and yuppz..ac guys did alright..but SA's doing really well..so they're in first placing now..sad..dun want this to happen..ac muz get first..show them tt!!! show them we can do it!! we want GOLD!!
went for dinner with my parents..uncle rodney and aunt corraine..reached home lyk 10 plus..realli tired..but i think i stoned in bed for almost 2 hours..kept thinking non stop..did i cry to sleep?? i've no idea..
the route to training was long as usual..but itz alright..i've got my times..although i was still spending a lot of my time thinking but i managed to finish the whole magazine over to cover..tt's an accomplishment!! and training was great today..i managed to bowl with bigger steps..an tt increased my ball speed..so i'm getting my strikes!! yes!! haha..but i still can't get back my mood tt quickly..i need to talk to someone..someone tt understands how i feel..but im afraid to give anione a call..i'm afrai to tell..i'm afraid no one will pick up my call..i'm afraid ppl will juz think tt i'm irritating them!!! i'm going crazy..so i can only confide to the lord..i mean i read the daily bread..and i felt better..so i took out the bible caleb gave me..and read my fav chapter..exodus..and soon i feel asleep..not because i'm bored..but i think he thinks tt i need rest badly..i need a break frm all these..u noe.sometimes i wish i can juz escape frm all these..quit everything..and juz concentrate on studies perhaps..but i noe tt's not the right thing to do..i cannot run away frm reality..i muz face it..and i muz try to resolve the problems..but can i do it myself..i think i need help..but who's giving me? i dunno wat to do..but i guess i'll juz have to live up my life and hope i'll be given a bright path...i'm totally certified to sing MR LONELY!!!!! lonely...i'm so lonely!! *this is the same post as my last on the old blog