Sunday, June 11, 2006
- 1:09 PM
its been so long since ive blogged...and its good tt now no one reads my blog so i can just type wateva i want to..but..its kidda contadicting..coz deep down..i want those three to read..read wat they made me go through..read wat they are doing to me..
just feel its suh a failure..such a failure as a person...
did i realli do anything wrong tt make me deserving of all these?????
life sucks..life just sucks!!!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
- 4:19 PM
oh well...yesterday i was realli at bukit batok area the whole of ydae...yupp meet qin yi and bryan at westmall to buy our bbq stuffs at shop n save...hai...thinking of the last time i watched a movie there...oh btw shop n save was filled with ppl...while i was doing my grocery buying..i felt a lil sad...how i wish i wld be able to buy groceries lyk that with my dearie next time..ya then we cab to hillview regency with ming long..
Even though all the while i was at hillview regency...my heart wasn't realli there...i'm dreaming...and finished like three bottles of beer..yuppz...of coz i wasn't drunk...but i wanna make myself drunk!!!!!!!!!!!! so that i wld be numb numb numb!!!!! why aint i even a single chance???
Friday, January 27, 2006
- 2:09 PM
there's no way that i'm gonna be happy animore...at least for 1 month..no wait one year..actually i think for the rest of my life...unless my guardian angel comes back to me.. Am i like this nobody child that no one wants?? am i juz so screwed...that my whole life's filled with nothing but aobstacles???? i dunno....but at least..dun be tt mean to me....give me just one thing!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
- 6:43 PM
i dunno what's with me...seriously...life's been realli realli realli terrible..i mean i noe there's loads of ppl arnd we cares for me..but all i need is one...is that realli selfish and mean to those ppl who care for me for different reasons.. sometimes i think..why am i treated so unfairly...i realli want to that all these as a test...but will it ever end...i wld gladly love to go through all these if its only a phase i have to go through to make it to the end...but if im juz gonna go on with this kidda sick life..for so long...then what's the point..??? why can't i juz end my life??? i went to read some articles on depression and suicidal...some of them are serious bullshit..sometimess..you still have to solve the problem from the root cause of it..can i?? sometimes i hope that can just turn back time.. then ill do anything i can.. but now...is death the only path??
- 12:06 PM
i declare that cindy khoo is going crazy...yes i am...i dno...probably kidda of a depression..aneroxic?? i dunno..but ive done crazy things even i myself can't imagine.. That day i was just standing at the middle of the road looking at the car coming towards me..hoping someone would come pull me away..wat was i trying to do?? i dunno...but this urge have been going on.. and the no. of times ive cried is lyk uncountable..the tears could fill a swimming pool.. and ive never imagine this but yes..ive lost 3kg since fri/sat..yupp..sucks..ive no aim in my life animore...i jus need someone
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
- 2:02 PM
probably..it was partially my fault..i'm sorry...i dun need time..i need u
- 1:57 PM
the last few days have been like hell...and school definitely sucks coz im not lsitening to anything...juz stoning...a little tear or two sometimes...thinking..
and i havent been able to get the appetite to eat anything..even the best food taste bitter in my mouth..yupp...ate minimal or nothing these few days..and found out i lost lyk 1.5 kg in 3 to 4 days..but if i have a chioce i wld rather not go through all these
seriously..i believe shrek still loves princess fiona..there must be some complications that's causing all those..i dunno..i mean..that's the best anione can think of..there are suppose to have little shreks you noe..
Saturday, January 21, 2006
- 5:07 PM
ate only 1/4 of breakfast, din eat lunch..and i feel lyk puking now..does that me i'm degrading myself now..why am i torturing myself??
- 5:06 PM
i hate being cheated!!!
Friday, January 20, 2006
- 7:13 PM
seriously..i feel lyk killing someone now! i wanna die! or kill someone...i wanna see blood! i'm getting sadist..i wanna turn to suicide...i wanna die! comeon i'm a educated girl...i noe tt's all wrong...but i'm so hot not! i mean i feel hot from inside out...i feel lyk i wanna do something to destroy myself...i wanna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
